Take the Fast Eddy Challenge

And an update from the End of the World Aussie Outback Adventure

Once upon a time after reading Tim Morgan’s The Perfect Storm, I realized we were fucked and the reptilian part of my brain overrode all logic activating Mr DNA who demanded that I do something. Mr DNA ultimately runs the show in each and every animal and when his host is threatened, he leaps into action.

The coming end of affordable oil and the resultant end of civilization as explained in Morgan’s long paper got the attention of Mr DNA and in robot-like fashion I obeyed his command to doomsday prep. After a few years of stockpiling and gardening cracks began to form in my certainty that this path guaranteed salvation.

I was living in Bali, Indonesia at my somewhat extravagant bolthole when a lengthy power outage struck. No internet, no lights, and refrigerated food was starting to go off when it hit me like a diamond bullet in the forehead - this is only temporary yet it is extremely alarming. When civilization collapses power will go off - permanently and I’d be on my own. I began to have doubts and questioned if what I was doing would be enough.

Logic began to push back against Mr DNA and it occurred to me that none of my neighbours had a plan in place for when the super markets empty of food. Some of them farmed rice but none were using organic methods. Without petrochemical fertilizers there would be no crops.

I know, I’ll pay the NGO that helped us set up our organic operation to train my neighbours - I will even purchase organic seeds for them. We put the word out and were met with a wall of silence. Not a single neighour was interested in my offer.

It was then that I knew what I was doing was futile. When the supermarket shelves empty, my neighbours would be turning their attention to my large organic gardens, and they’d not respond politely to ‘sorry there’s not enough for you.’

Soon after this I also realize that there were 4000 spent fuel ponds around the planet that would spew cancer-causing toxins globally that would persist for thousands of years.

I concluded that I had wasted huge amounts of time and money pursuing this idiotic idea. I realized that doomsday prepping was futile and I instead accelerated my bucket listing itinerary.

For those of you who are wasting what little time remains and spending all your cash on guns, ammo, seeds, and spare parts, I urge you to take the Fast Eddy Challenge.

For one month do the following - think of it as a dry run for what comes when civilization collapses (now’s the time to identify weak spots in your plan because the hardware stores are still operational):

• use no electricity

• use not petrol, gas or diesel (you cannot drive or use any machinery)

• buy nothing

• eat only what you grow (no cheating with stored food because that won’t be available post collapse)

• take no medicines - this applies to your farm animals

• fell enough trees and split and pile enough wood for a full year (all by hand no cheating with a chainsaw)

• wash your clothes by hand (remember no electricity no washing machines)

Fortunately during your month, you do not have to worry about starving neighbours attacking you, ripping up your garden and killing your animals. You also do not have to deal with the aftermath of the spent fuel ponds.

I’ve put the Fast Eddy Challenge in front of preppers dozens of times over the years - not a single one has taken me up.

They, as do I, know why. To do so would burst their delusional perception of the tranquil, wonderful world of the doomsday prepper that has been fed to them by the Tee Vee. Taking the challenge would shatter their utopia and crash them into despair.

At the end of the day, humans need hope. When there is none they will grasp at whatever nonsense is offered to them. For some it’s the greatest marketing campaign ever, otherwise know as religion, huge numbers get played by the Three Pillars of Bullshit, and many get captured by doomsday prepping.

Anything, no matter how illogical, is better than the cold hard truth of what actually will happen when the global economy collapses due to the depletion of affordable energy.

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In other news…

NZ is trying to spin a disastrous situation into a nothing burger.

What 'running out' supply means for households still using gas

Reports that New Zealand's natural gas reserves might be dwindling faster than expected may be unwelcome news to households using it to cook and heat.

The Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment said previous forecasts showed annual gas production falling below 100 petajoules (PJ) by 2029, but revised forecasts indicated that level would be reached by next year.

Paul Fuge, general manager at Consumer NZ's Powerswitch, said residential gas use was only about 4 percent of the country's total gas consumption, so gas supplies for households probably would not run out, but he said they would likely become more expensive over time.

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End of the World Bucket List Trip Update:

I shifted to another campsite yesterday for a 3 night stay and shortly after my arrival two barnyard animals parked up nearby dragging caravans the size of small homes.

One of them pulled an electric chain saw from the bowels of his house on wheels and sliced up some wood for their evening fire (apparently a hatchet would not be good enough). Yesterday, one of the fucking idiots runs a generator for most of the afternoon to charge his batteries so the wife can no doubt have enough battery juice to operate her curling iron, blender and pizza oven while watching re-runs of Dancing with Stars on the Tee Vee refuelling her Plough Hog arse with sacks of Doritos and Diet Coke. And today the other moron flicked on his generator at 10am and it’s been running non-stop for nearly 3 hours.

I understand that humans are extremely smart but that they cannot survive a day in the bush without being tethered to tech (says the guy with the Star Link, fridge, and 4 x 4) but I thought the point of camping was to rough it, at least a little.

If you can’t run it off a couple of solar panels (it has been full sun every single day since I left Perth 2 weeks ago) then fuck off and park your monstrosity in the supermarket carpark and run your contraptions 24/7. Put on some audio of waves lapping against the shore and birds chirping and pretend you are in the bush.

The thing is… most camp grounds allow this nonsense because so many of the barnyard animals are hauling giant rigs and they demand it. This makes it next to impossible to escape the morons.

This demonstrates just how dramatically divorced we are from nature. It’s gotten to the point where most people who are interested in nature will only engage with the wild if they can be guaranteed ice cold beer, unlimited electricity, and a king sized bed in a climate controlled caravan.

Here’s hoping that one of the big sows I see basting themselves on the beach get into the water and get hauled off by a tiger shark. I’ll be sure to smile as I capture that on my camera.

The Gibb River Road and tributary tracks are now mostly open to high clearance 4WD vehicles - only the Mitchell Plateau road remains closed. Into the Wild I shall venture on the coming weekend.